Why We Struggle to Let Go of Our Things

What are you keeping in your life that does not serve you or your space? Many of us hang onto belongings that clutter and complicate our lives. before really getting involved in the organizing industry, I had a lot of attachments to my stuff. I saved old concert ticket stubs because they were from my first concert. I saved jeans I loved but had not worn...ever...because I might fit into them one day. I saved gifts that I had received from family members that were not even my taste. When I started learning more about the psychology of organizing I realized that many of my own habits were hindering and further cluttering my life. If you are struggling with similar scenarios, you could be experiencing one of the following emotions:​

• Anthropomorphism – Bad name, I know! This happens when we assign human traits or emotions to inanimate objects. An example is someone who feels badly for an object or mentions that it deserves a certain type of life or use. We have all done this at one time or another but should recognize that an object does not have energizing life, feelings or emotions.
• Sentimentality – Guilty as charged! This one has to do with holding onto memories, sometimes even bad ones, through objects for a duration of time. An example is keeping the wedding invitation and program from a first marriage, even though it has painfully ended years before.
• Guilt / Responsibility – Thus happens when we hold onto objects out of self-imposed responsibility or guilt. An example of this might be keeping grandma’s china which is never used and not liked, only because it was inherited when grandma passed away.
• Fear / Poverty – This involves keeping objects out of a fundamental fear that times will get scare and they will be needed. Many people who grew up in an impoverish state or with parents who experienced this in their own childhood will hang onto things much longer than they are needed.
• Frugality / Thrift – Can be a noble character trait when managed properly but can also stem from the Fear / Poverty attachment described above. An example of a healthy relationship with this is deciding to repurpose an old TV stand instead of purchasing another one to save some money. An unhealthy example is keeping, washing and reusing Ziploc bags when they are designed to be used once and thrown away.

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Just like dealing with and overcoming a difficult event in our lives, letting go of stuff can sometimes be very challenging and feel much more complex than it actually is. Some things to keep in mind as you begin to manage and make decisions about your stuff are:

• Respect Yourself – Ask yourself whether your objects are serving you, or whether you have become a servant to them. If you are honest and can acknowledge that the object no longer serves its purpose in your life, it might be easier to pass it on to someone else. A great example that most of us can relate to is owning too many shoes that you trip over every time you enter your closet. If they are physically in your way and never worn, they are no longer serving you and it might be time to evaluate which ones stay and which ones go.
• Respect the Space – Something kept in a space that does not serve that space is not serving you in the use of that space. Using the same shoe example, shoes cluttering the walkway act as a safety hazard for you when navigating your closet, add stress as a result, and take valuable square footage from a space that you could be using differently for the things that serve you best.
• ​Respect the Item – If an item is not being used to its full potential, it might be the right time to ask yourself if someone else might be able to use it or enjoy it instead. Those shoes you love but have not worn in 3 years because they hurt your feet might not hurt the feet of someone else who could gain great enjoyment from making them a staple of their weekly wardrobe. Although we don’t want to attach emotional characteristics to an object, think of how that object might be “happier” in a relationship with someone who enjoys it and uses it regularly.